You Need Messy
by scrapmom
Summary: This is what should have happened after Marshall's "Messy" speech at the end of Season 3.
1. Are you Kidding Me?

A/N OK, so this is my third IPS story, and I thought I'd try a multi-chapter. I've been working on it for about a week now, and keep changing it. I think I'm happy with it now, at least the first few chapters. Haven't quite finished it, but I wanted to get halfway through before posting, because it sometimes takes me a while to completely finish a story, and I didn't want to make you all wait too long.

So, this takes place right after Marshall's speech to Mary at the end of season 3. The actual ending does not happen in my universe. This is my version of what should have happened. I have only seen the first 3 seasons of IPS, because Netflix does not have season 4 yet. I do know a few things that happen, as I have seen bits and pieces, and am not happy with most of it, of course. I am also very disappointed that season 5 will be the last, and ending with only 8 episodes. I only hope the writers can wrap things up in a way that will please us viewers. That means no more Abby and Marshall. One can only hope.

Thanks for reading, and as for the disclaimer, I own nothing. Just love the characters.

Here's a reminder of where we begin…

"If you feel like you need to get something out of your system. If you need to go do some cowboy. You've done the cowboy, and when you weren't doing the cowboy, you were the cowboy, like with Raph. You don't need to let off steam. What you need is…

I get that you don't like messy, but maybe messy is what you need. Maybe instead of just anyone, you should be looking for someone. Someone who challenges you, who calls you on your BS, gets in your face, and makes you think."

**You Need Messy**

Chapter 1

Are you kidding me?

After Mary followed Stan into the office, Marshall sighed. He knew she would run. The moment he got in her face, and used that serious tone, he knew she would run. He put his head down, and slowly walked away. He didn't stop at his desk, but continued out the cage door to the stairs, heading up. He liked to go to the roof to think. Sure, they had the balcony off the office, but he couldn't get any privacy there, not with Mary sitting on the other side of the glass. When he needed privacy, he would head to the roof.

Walking outside, he felt a little better, finally able to breathe again. He walked to the edge of the building and looked out over the city. He stood there for a few minutes, letting the quiet settle over him. Suddenly, the peace was broken by a familiar voice, drifting up from the balcony below. "Faber, how would you like to accompany me on a little vacation? I'm looking for easy, not messy."

Marshall went rigid. _God, please tell me that this is some sort of cruel joke_, he thought. He heard her give that FBI asshole her hotel information, and he tuned the rest out. _Do I really mean so little to her?_ He could tell she understood what he was saying. When she said, 'I'm thinking,' it gave him hope. After hearing her conversation with Faber, he felt sick. It felt like she had ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, over and over.

The sun was starting its decent over the horizon, but its beauty was lost on Marshall. He was so deep in thought, he couldn't appreciate the pinks and oranges, fading to blue. The darker it became, the more his anger bubbled to the surface. _Damn her_, he thought. _Why does she feel the need to fuck some random stranger, or worse, Faber, when she has her own 'cowboy' right in front of her?_

He stood, deep in thought, as a plan unfolded in his head. He was not about to let her go away for 2 weeks without him giving her something to think about. The anger was seeping out of his pores as he headed back down the stairs. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before returning to the office. Mary could read him, and would know something was up if he didn't control his emotions. He returned to the office, slid into his seat, and tried to concentration working, when he was actually biding his time to corner Mary and talk some sense into her.


	2. Change of Plans

Chapter 2

Change of plans

The rest of the evening passed by quickly, with both partners trying to wrap up their work before the weekend. Mary was on the phone, contacting her witnesses, making sure they were all set before she left. Marshall would be watching over them, but Mary wanted to let them know she would be gone, and to contact Marshall if they needed anything. Although the work continued, the tension between the partners was palpable. Hanging up the phone with her last witness, she breathed a sigh of relief. As much as she complained about taking a vacation, she was actually starting to look forward to getting away. She was having a hard time getting Marshall's words from earlier, out of her head. They had been on a constant loop all afternoon.

_What the hell? Why was it any of his business what or 'who' she did? He was her partner, not her keeper._ That thought led her back to the desert, when he was shot. He told her then, he was her keeper. An 'exotic animal' he had called her. That's why he wanted to leave, because it was a lot of responsibility for him. _But why,_ she wondered, _did he care so much?_

She was so deep in thought, she didn't notice Marshall had gotten up from his desk, and disappeared. Pulling her thoughts back to the present, she stuck her head in Stan's office and said a quick goodbye, turning to her partner's desk next. Her stomached dropped to her feet when she realized he wasn't there. His computer had been turned off, and his chair pushed in, all the signs he had left for the evening. _How could he have just left without saying goodbye?_ She felt an unfamiliar stabbing in her chest, and she blinked her eyes, to deter the unshed tears. _Come on, Mary. You are acting like a girl. Hell, you are acting like Marshall. He's just mad (about what, I don't know), but he'll get over it._ _Let him be mad,_ she thought, pushing the elevator button a little too hard. She was headed off to paradise to relax and ease some tension she's built up in the last few months.

The doors opened, and she was still so lost in thought, that she didn't notice Marshall was behind her. Marshall followed Mary into the elevator quietly, not wanting to startle her. As soon as the doors closed, he took two large steps and pushed the red emergency stop button.

"Marsh…" before she could mutter his name, he had her pinned up against the wall, his body touching hers from knee to shoulder, right hand above her head on the wall, pinning her in. She gasped. All that could be heard was the unsteady breath from both partners.

It only took Mary a moment to get her bearings, before putting her hands on his chest and trying, unsuccessfully to push him away. He pressed tighter, something in his eyes made her lessen the presser on his chest. She tried words. "Marshall, what the hell?" Her voice came out more breathless than she wanted, and with little venom.

He put his left finger on her lips and hissed, "No, it is time for you to shut up and listen. I know you plan to go find some cowboy and have yourself a 'ride' but I meant what I said about you needing messy. And I'm not talking about some asshole like Faber, who will fuck you and leave before the sheets are cold." Her eyes widened. Marshall didn't cuss, so hearing him talk like made her realize how serious he was.

He paused, and took a shaky breath, never breaking eye contact. "I want you to take the time you have off to think about that. I want you to listen to my words and really hear and **feel** what I am saying." His voice was husky and trembled slightly. He then removed his finger from her lips; he slid his hand around her neck, brushing her hair back. He leaned in close; his lips so close to his hear that she could feel his gentle breath on her neck. "You need to open your eyes and see what's right in front of you, before you screw things up so bad, there will be no going back."

Mary was trying hard to concentrate on what he was saying, but his warm breath was causing her to become lightheaded, and feel a tingling in her belly that was unexpected.

When he finished speaking, she felt something warm and wet touch her neck and trail down to her pulse point. _Oh God_, she thought_, that's his tongue_. _Holy fuck, what is happening? Marshall is licking my neck and… oh_, she actually moaned out loud when his lips gently settled on the spot where his tongue led. His mouth was warm and teased her neck. _Oh Jesus_, she thought. She could feel his body pressed up against hers, his lips doing wonderful things to her neck, and she lost all rational thought, hell, all thought at all. Her body was humming with tension, and the warmth of his body and lips were causing her to become aroused. _Good God, I'm in an elevator with my partner, and he's got me so hot. How is this possible? This is Marshall…._

She moaned again and tilted her head to give him better access to her neck_. Mary, Mother, and all that is holy, please,_ she prayed to herself. _Please don't stop. Please let those lips keep moving. I want to feel them on mine, taste him, kiss him…_

Mary had her eyes closed, and immediately felt the cold from where his body had been, and it took a moment for her to realize he no longer he had her pinned her to the wall. She took a shaky breath and slowly opened her eyes, in time to see him strut through the opened elevator door, shoulders back, and a slight cocky air.

Mary wasn't sure how long she stood there, staring after Marshall. She was barely aware when the doors closed again, and she was alone in the elevator, left to contemplate what the hell just happened. Was she dreaming? Did her partner, her best friend, just push her up against the wall, and ravish her neck, whispering….threats? She went from warm to hot, boiling, in fact. How dare he? And what did he mean by, no going back? Was he threatening to leave again? What had she done to get him so angry?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the elevator doors opening again, and she saw Stan in staring at her, with a confused expression. "Inspector," he greeted, question evident in his voice. He had seen Marshall side into the elevator behind Mary, and had felt the tension all day. He was worried when the two partners were fighting.

Mary recovered from her internal conversation quickly, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "You know me, I just can't stay away," she replied, walking out of the elevator. "My mind is already on vacation, it seems," she lied. "Can't drive a car without the keys." She swiped her card and headed toward her desk. She looked back at Stan, and gave a little wave, while opening her desk drawer, to make her lie look more credible. Once the doors closed, she flopped down in her desk chair with a sigh.

She sat in her chair, staring over at her partner's empty desk. There were so many thoughts and emotions swirling around in her mind, she was literally getting dizzy. 'Be the river,' she heard Marshall's voice in her head.

"Shut the fuck up," she screamed out loud to the empty office. "This is all your fault! How can I be the river, when I feel like I am drowning in it? "Asshole," she spat at his empty desk. Suddenly the idea of blowing off steam felt wrong, dirty. She picked up the phone, and punched the numbers with a little extra force. "Faber, Mary. Look, there's been a change of plans."


	3. What's a Mann to do?

A/N Here's a quick update. It's a really short chapter, but I have the next chapter ready to go if anyone is interested in this story continuing. I'm having fun writing it, and I hope you are all enjoying reading it. Thanks!

Chapter 3

What's a Mann to do?

Marshall sat in his car, wondering how he had gotten home. He was so angry with Mary; he didn't remember the drive home. His mind was still in the elevator, where he had almost ravaged her. Oh how he had wanted to, but he had to control himself and stick to his plan. He knew she understood what he was saying during his little speech earlier, and knew she would be freaked out, but he didn't expect her to call Faber. When he heard her on the phone with him, he wanted to grab her and shake some sense in her and tell her she was making an even bigger mistake than with Raph.

He couldn't remember ever feeling as angry as he was when he heard her tell Faber she wanted 'easy, not messy.' He felt as though his whole body would explode. It took him a good ten minutes to calm down and come up with a plan. Apparently, his subtle hints backfired, so he needed to change his strategy. He couldn't just come out and tell her he loved her. Mary was not the sugary sweet type, so he would have to be more direct. He would take a page from her playbook. She thought she wanted easy? He'd show her how good messy could be. Give her just a taste, to see how she reacted.

It wasn't easy, to pull back. When she moaned, he wanted to let go and show her just how 'messy' elevator sex could be. But, he needed her to think, and feel. This was it. His Hail Mary (no pun intended). She could choose to think about him, and wonder how good they could be, or she could choose Faber. He shivered, just thinking of the two of them together. If she chose Faber, he knew he'd have to leave. Even though he promised her he would never leave, he just couldn't stay. He tried to push his feelings back, when she was with Raph. He tried to be the supportive best friend, and partner she needed.

After they broke it off, he thought she might have started to realize how much he cared. He had her back, all the time, and she his. But he couldn't sit by and watch her continue to make mistakes, all the while, feeling a piece of his heart break every time she talked about doing a 'cowboy' or relieving stress with some random stranger. For his own sanity, he would have to move on. He thought about staying, and just finding someone in Albuquerque, but he knew he would never be able to give his heart fully to someone else when he was still with Mary every day.

He hated the thought of leaving. Mary was the best partner and friend he had ever had. But he had never expected to fall so completely in love with her. Now that he was, there was no going back. He would always love her, but he had to move on, and he couldn't do it here.

Marshall shook his head, realizing he was still sitting in his car. He got out and went inside, felling the loneliness wash over him as he stepped into the darkened house. Without turning on any lights, he walked straight to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. He downed it, and started to pour another, opting instead for the bottle. She toed off his boots, and plopped down on the couch, flipping on the TV. Maybe Star Trek would keep his mind from wandering to Mary and what she was doing, or thinking. He sat, watching the crew of the Enterprise, while consuming much of the bottle in his hand.

The more drunk he got, the more his loneliness faded, and his anger re-appeared. He picked up his phone and started to push speed dial 1, Mary. He stopped, remembering that she would be on the flight. What would he say to her anyway? He said all there was to say, didn't he. He wanted to scream at her, and tell him he was here and had been here all along. Instead, he typed a quick text and hit send. He wasn't sure if, or when, she would get the message, but he knew she would understand it.


	4. Forgetting

Chapter 4

Forgetting

The hotel was beautiful. It was right on the water, not a spot she would have picked for herself, but Jinx and Brandy had made the reservations, telling her to just enjoy herself and try to relax. Right, when had she been able to relax in her life? She wasn't even sure she new how. But, after the last 24 hours, she was glad to be as far away as possible. She took the Red Eye, but really didn't get much rest on the flight, so upon entering her room, she flopped down on the bed, and promptly fell asleep.

Her dreams were filled with images of cowboys and mud, and Marshall's voice whispering in her ear, how good messy could be. She awoke with a start, sitting up and staring blankly around the room, trying to get her bearings. _Hotel in nowhere Mexico_, she remembered. She fell back onto the bed, realizing she had not been dreaming. She was hoping to wake up to find she was back in her bed, in her house, and that the past 24 hours were a nightmare, and nothing more. She stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity, replaying in her head what happened in the elevator. _Stop it_, she chided herself. She didn't plan on spending her entire two weeks thinking about what almost happened. _And how much I wanted it to happen._

Trying to squelch her inner dialogue, she opted to take a shower. After travelling all night, and sleeping half the day way, she felt grimy and just wanted to feel clean again. She opened her suitcase and pulled out a pretty blue sundress. _I didn't pack that_, she thought. There was a note sitting on top of the dress, in her sister's handwriting.

Mary, I know you "don't do dresses," but I saw this and thought it would be perfect for you in Mexico. Nobody knows you there, so you can dress up

without worry. Have fun. Love, Brandi.

Mary smiled, thinking how much her sister had changed since meeting Peter. His positive outlook seemed to have an effect on everybody, even Mary, albeit slight. She put the dress aside, opting instead for a pair of black shorts and a red tank top.

She sat on the balcony of the hotel, overlooking the ocean, and sighed. It really was beautiful, and watching the waves creep up the sand, and slide back out to sea again was rather cathartic. If Marshall were here, he would probably spout off some random trivia about the tides and the waves, and how the sound is used for relaxation techniques by psychologists. _Dammit,_ she thought. _Even when I'm thousands of miles away, I still can't get him out of my head! _

In fact, she had thought of nothing else on the flight. How was she supposed to get him out of her head, when every time she closed her eyes, she could feel his body pressed up against hers, and his open mouthed kisses on her neck. And the words he breathed in her ear kept repeating over and over, 'hear and feel what I am saying.' Oh, she felt what he was saying, all right. But what the hell did he expect her to do with that? She didn't do feelings. That's what got her into this mess in the first place. Telling him she needed to release some tension. She didn't want to feel, and there he was, in her face, telling her what she needed.

How dare he? How does he know what she needs? "What I need is a stiff drink and maybe a Mexican cowboy," she said out loud, as she stood up and headed out the door. She passed the hotel bar, wanting something more loud and busy. 'Messy,' the voice in her head said. She walked across the street to a bar called Yesterday. The door vibrated in her hand as she pulled it open. Yes, she thought. She wanted the music so loud it would drown out Marshall's voice, and the words that she couldn't get out of her head.

She grabbed a stool at the corner of the bar, and flagged down the bartender. "Beer, please, and a shot of whisky." She shouted, to be heard over the music. The bartender nodded, and turned to fill her order. While she waited, she scanned the bar, taking in the exits, bathrooms, amount of people, and did a quick assessment. Good God, she thought. I'm on vacation, and I'm still checking for threats. I just need to chill.

Just then, the bartender, Chris as it stated on his name tag, returned with her drinks, and she grabbed the whiskey from him and downed it quickly. Slamming it back down, she gestured for another. "Might want to bring the bottle." She said, as he turned away to retrieve said whiskey.

"Rough night?" He asked, setting the bottle down beside her empty glass.

"Rough life," she replied, pouring another shot and downing that one too.

Four shots and two beers later, she was finally feeling some of the tension of the past 24 hours melting away. One more shot, and she turned, and slid off the bar stool, pausing to get her balance, and sauntered out onto the dance floor. Her body was reacting to the music, and she let it, let the beat flow through her. God, it felt good not to think, just to feel. Her eyes drifted closed as her hips swayed back and forth to the music. Suddenly, she felt a warmth behind her, moving with her and she unconsciously leaned back into it. A hand slid around her waist, and pulled her back, and she didn't fight, just went with it. They moved in unison for short time, her mind envisioning Marshall holding her, swaying with her, touching her. She leaned her head to the side, silently asking for him to continue his feast on her neck.

She felt him lean over and froze when a voice that wasn't her partners said, "Vamos a sacar de aquí, Gatito."


	5. What Part of No Don't You Understand?

A/N The sentence we left off with roughly translated into "Let's get out of here, kitten." I used a Spanish/English translator on the computer, so if it's not exactly correct, I apologize. This is a really short chapter, and I promise to update the next one as soon as possible. And, that will be the one that will finally tell you what Marshall's text message said. Sorry to keep you all waiting, but it just wasn't the right time. Hope you all enjoy this, and please let me know if you are enjoying the story.

She felt him lean over and froze when a voice that wasn't her partners said, "Vamos a sacar de aquí, Gatito."

Chapter 5

What part of no don't you understand?

Suddenly she felt as though she had been doused with a bucket of cold water. Her eyes flew open and she spun around, glaring into the face of Mike Faber. She took two steps back, putting as much distance between them as possible and spat, "Faber, what the hell?"

"Oh, come on Kitten, I saw right through your lame attempt at dismissal. Your words said no, but your voice said yes. And believe me, your body agrees." He smirked.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me?" She yelled, barely loud enough to be heard over the music. "Oh my God, I am such an idiot." She mumbled, turning and leaving him on the dance floor. "What the hell was I thinking?" she continued her conversation, out loud, not really directed toward anyone. "Apparently, I wasn't thinking, when I invited scumbag, here" she nodded her head toward him, when the bartender approached. "Double, please." She tapped on the bar.

He sat down next to her, perplexed. She had asked him to come. Sure, she called back later and told him not to, but she was just feeling a little overwhelmed, and he knew exactly what she needed. And he intended to spend the next few days showing her.

The bartender sat another shot down in front of her, and she threw it back, returning the glass to the bar for a refill. Faber motioned for a drink for himself. He saw her shake her head at the bartender, and he shrugged and turned away, leaving Mary with the bottle. She took another shot, and then turned to address Faber. "Look, I don't know what you think is going to happen here, but it's not. I made a mistake. Calling you was a stupid, irrational, knee-jerk reaction on my part. I was completely serious when I called back and told you I had changed my mind. I just want to be left alone, and to enjoy my vacation without you, or anyone else. So, get the hell out of my sight."

Faber was not one to go quietly. He came down here for some action, and he intended to get it. "Come on, kitten. I came all this way. Why don't we just go back to your room, and I can help you relax." As he spoke, he slid his hand across the bar and started stroking her arm. Before he knew what was happening, she grabbed his wrist and twisted. He heard the crunch before he felt the pain.

"Listen, asshole. I said I changed my mind, and you are not, I repeat, **not** invited into my room, my bed, and especially, my life. Now leave me the fuck alone." She released his wrist, threw money down on the bar. She then grabbed the half empty bottle of whiskey and nodded to the bartender. "You might want to get some ice for that." She said over her shoulder, as she left the bar.

She stumbled back across the street and upstairs to her room, choosing a lounge chair on the balcony. Although it was too dark to see the ocean, she took comfort in the warm breeze and the sound of the waves gently lapping the shore. Taking another swig of whiskey, she closed her eyes and tried to force herself to relax, but as soon as she closed her eyes, she was back in that elevator with Marshall doing wonderful things to her neck.

Her eyes flew open, and she jumped out of the chair, almost falling from the excess whiskey in her system. She headed inside and grabbed her phone from her overnight bag, intending to call Marshall and give him a piece of her mind. The phone had been off since her flight, because she didn't want to have any contact with people, especially needy people, which was everyone in her life, save Marshall.

Her phone came to life, but before she could press 1 on her speed dial and ream Marshall, she noticed a text message. It was from him. She held her breath. Her anger forgotten, she wondered what he could possibly say to her. Didn't he say it all in the elevator? Letting out the breath she was holding, she opened the message.


	6. Tell Me What You Need

A/N This story was supposed to be wrapped up by now, but it took a different turn than I expected, so please be patient with me. Since this is a short update, I will have the next chapter up by tomorrow. Thanks for the reviews and story alerts. I appreciate the positive feedback!

Ok, very short chapter, but I know you all were dying to know what his text message said, so without further ado...

Chapter 6

Tell me what you need

'Tell me what you need." She sobbed when she read those five little words. They echoed in her mind. How many times had she heard him say that to her? And there it was, in black and white, staring at her, mocking her. She told him what she thought she needed…a release, a 'cowboy.' But he knew her, better than anyone. Even better than she knows herself, sometimes. He was trying to tell her that **he** was what she needed. Could he be right? He was her friend and partner. He had always been there for her. He had her back, all the time. Whether it was in the field, or helping her screwed up family, he was there, whenever. She treated him like shit, and he was still there. He had never left. Everyone left, but Marshall never did.

Why? That's the question that she kept asking herself. She was a screw-up. Just look at her family. Her mom was an alcoholic through her childhood and most of her adult life. Hell, truth be told, Mary was just waiting for her mom to fall off the wagon. Not that she wanted her mom to fail, but she was always waiting for the next shoe to drop. And Brandi, where to begin with her? _I did my best,_ she thought. _But how does a child raise another child? _

_So, here I am, emotionally detached, and I push away everyone who tries to get close_. She tried to push Marshall away, many times, but he never faltered. She still had her phone, holding onto it as if it were her lifeline. In a way, it was. Marshall was her lifeline. He had been for the last 6 years. She took another drink, never taking her eyes off the five words burning into her brain. Honestly, she didn't know what she needed. She thought she knew, but now, thinking about what she was about to do with Faber, she felt sick. If she would have gone through with it, and Marshall found out, she could have kissed her best friend goodbye. _How could I have been so stupid?_

A lone tear escaped, and travelled down her cheek, unnoticed, as she made her way back out to the balcony, and the chair that she had not so gracefully left moments ago. She leaned her head back, and closed her eyes again, almost welcoming the images of Marshall that filled her head. She fell asleep, still clutching the phone, Marshall's voice whispering in her ear, 'Tell me what you need.'

Mary awoke the next morning to the bright sun, and momentarily forgot where she was. She felt the pounding in her head before she opened her eyes, and her memories of the previous night slowly came back to her. Trying not to open her eyes to the blinding light from the sun, she felt her way inside, grabbing a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and gulped half of it down, before stopping for a breath. She then grabbed three aspirin out of her travel kit and took those, finishing off the bottle of water. She stumbled back to the bed, and lay down; hoping to ease the base drum beat in her head. Throwing her arm across her eyes, to block out the sun, she fell back into a light sleep. When she awoke an hour later, her headache had calmed down enough that she could take a shower. She felt a little better after showering, and decided to spend some time at the beach.

Bag packed with a towel, sunscreen, sunglasses, and a book, she headed out the back door of the hotel to the beach. The hotel had a private beach area, so she chose a chair away from the crowd and settled in. After applying sunscreen, she grabbed her book and opened it to the first page. When she realized she read the first line three times, and still didn't understand what she had read, she signed and put the book back into the bag. Her mind was not going to allow her to read today. She had too much thinking to do. _Dammit_, she thought. _I came here to relax, not think._

Even as those words ran through her mind, she knew the truth. She needed this time to stop away from her life, and figure out what the hell she wanted. After she broke up with Raph, she felt sad. Even though she wasn't in love with him, she still cared about him, and was willing to settle for the life he was offering. In her twisted mind, it was better to marry someone you didn't really love, so that when he left, she wouldn't lose herself. She was the strong one in the family, the one everyone ran to for help. But, she didn't feel that strong. Not after this past year. She got engaged, broke up, was kidnapped, shot, and almost died. Not to mention, she watched as her best friend was shot, and she worried she might lose him. They had been fighting all day because she found the papers that told her, in no uncertain terms, that he was just like all the others. He was leaving. So, she did what she could to ease the pain she was feeling. She slung insults and glared at him most of the trip. Then he was shot. She literally felt her heart stop for a moment. Her survival instincts kicked in, and she fought back, but there was that brief moment, before he pulled himself up beside the car and started shooting, that she almost gave up. Her eyes trained on the gun pointing at her, she paused. What was she without Marshall? She couldn't live without her partner and her best friend. He kept her grounded, kept her focused, listened to her, fought with her, loved her. _Wait, what?_

Love. That horrible, scary four letter word. Was it possible? Did he really love her? He did tell her, during her engagement speech. She knew he meant it, but just figured it was a best friend love. _Yea, right. Come on, Mary. Who are you kidding?_ _You knew he was honestly confessing his love for you. He said, in plain English, that no man would ever be good enough for me. Except him…_

And that's what he had been trying to tell her in his little speech at the office, too. She needed someone who challenged her, got in her face, and made her think. He certainly did that, because that's all she had been doing since she left. Thinking. About him.

Shit.


	7. Soul Searching

A/N Another short chapter, but there's more to come. Hope you are all still enjoying it.

Chapter 7

Soul Searching

Mary had been so busy contemplating her life, she didn't realize how much time had passed, until her stomach growled, reminding her she hadn't eaten for a while. She'd grabbed a granola bar before she came to the beach, because that was the only thing her stomach could handle other than water. She contemplated going out to dinner, but that would entail another shower, and different clothes, and she was perfectly happy in her bathing suit. So, she headed to the hotel bar by the pool. She'd noticed some families with food earlier, and was hoping they had gotten it at the bar.

Ten minutes later, she returned to her chair with food. Ok, so it wasn't a steak dinner with all the trimmings, but she was on the beach, with no time schedule, no demanding witnesses, or needy family. Just her, a turkey sandwich and a coke, the sun and the ocean. What more could she need? _Marshall_, a voice in the back of her head answered.

While she was enjoying herself, she realized it would be nice to have him here with her. His long legs stretched out on the chair beside hers. Although he looked lanky with his clothes on, she knew he was well defined under said clothes. She'd caught herself on more than one occasion, admiring her partner when he wasn't looking. Who wouldn't? He is a very well built, bad ass lawman under his geeky exterior.

Mary thought back to the elevator again. Her entire body tingled when she felt his breath on her neck. She might have lost it if he would have continued his exploration of her neck. His lips only touched her in one spot, and she was more aroused than she had been in a long time. Her mind began to imagine what it would be like to feel his lips on other parts of her. Hell, she wanted to feel them all over her. She wanted him to kiss her and touch her everywhere. Oh God, just thinking about Marshall touching her was making her wet. She got up quickly, leaving her half eaten turkey sandwich behind, and ran for the water, diving into the waves.

The coolness of the water against her warm, flushed skin felt amazing. She dove under the waves again and again, trying to wash away the impure thoughts of her partner. She needed to get herself under control. Now that she realized without a doubt how her partner felt about her, she was more determined than ever to put some distance between them.

She was no good for him. She was brash, rude, and so emotionally damaged, there was no putting her back together. Marshall deserved the happy, go-lucky wife, with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids. That's not something she could give to him. Although, she had to admit that the idea of having a child with Marshall gave her a warm feeling inside.

Her thoughts continued as she headed back to her towel, picking up the forgotten turkey sandwich and tossing it in the closes trash can. She lay down on her stomach, and propped her chin up on her hand, gazing out at the water. She'd done a lot of soul searching today. The beach was a very cathartic place. She was tired, but happy.

Happy. She let that word turn over in her head. How long had it been since she was truly happy? The only thing that made her happy was her job. She loved the excitement, the adrenaline, and of course, the guns! But what about her personal life? She thought Raph made her happy, but it was just an illusion. With everyone around her happy, she assumed she was happy too. She wouldn't be so excited about her job if Marshall wasn't with her everyday. She'd lost count of how many partners she'd been through before Marshall. He put up with her when nobody else would. She recalled a conversation with Marshall about what she wanted, needed to be happy. She thought she wanted something that didn't exist. But what if it did? What if she was just missing what he was so obviously trying to tell her?

_Jesus, the sun must be melting my brain_, she thought. _I'm becoming more of a sap than Marshall._ She smiled at that thought.


	8. Mother Knows Best

A/N We all see now that Mary is starting to come to grips with her feelings for Marshall. But what about him? How's he doing? We find out here. Little angsty, poor Marshall. I just want to hug him.

Chapter 8

Mother knows best

Marshall spent most of his weekend on the couch. He hadn't showered or shaved, nor had he eaten much. Alcohol had been his food of choice since Mary left. He couldn't shake the queasiness he felt, thinking she was in Mexico right now, probably in bed with Faber. The thought literally made him want to throw up. Instead, he picked up his half empty bottle of beer and chugged it, adding the bottle to his collection on the coffee table.

The ringing of his phone brought him back to reality, and he quickly reached for it, hoping it was Mary. He saw the words 'Mom' blinking back at him, and he lowered his head in shame. It was Sunday afternoon, and he always called his mom on Sundays. She was checking in to make sure he was alright. He considered not answering, but the guilt got to him, and he flipped his phone open quickly.

"Hello." His voice sounded foreign, even to him.

"Marshall, honey, is that you? What's wrong? You sound terrible. Are you sick?" She fired off her questions in succession, not giving him time to answer in between.

He cleared his throat before answering, trying to make himself sound normal. "I'm fine, mom. I'm sorry I haven't called yet." He paused, and then added, "Things got a little busy with work."

"Marshall, don't even try to lie to me. I can tell that something is wrong, and I don't think it has anything to do with work. Is it Mary? Did something happen to her?" She knew her son and Mary were in dangerous situations from time to time, and she recalled how distraught her son was when Mary had been shot the previous year. Her instincts told her that Mary was more important to him than he was willing to admit. She heard him suck in a breath when she mentioned Mary, and knew she had hit the nail on the head. "Is she ok?" She asked again, only getting silence from his end.

He took a deep breath, and tried again to sound normal. "Everything is fine, mom. Seriously. Mary is actually on vacation for a couple of weeks," he said, his voice cracking a little on the word vacation, "and I'm just trying to keep up with her work and mine, so I've been a little distracted." He hoped that was convincing enough, but knowing his mom, and how well she could read him, he was doubtful. He just wished she would drop it, and let him wallow in his self pity a little longer. He got up from his spot on the couch and padded into the kitchen to grab another beer.

"Oh Marshall." She said, her voice low, and he knew she understood, but tried to play it off.

"Oh mom, what?" He tried.

She wasn't deterred. "Did she go on vacation with someone?" She asked, knowing the answer already.

Marshall opened his beer, and flopped back on the couch in his usual position, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "Usually people go on vacation with other people, mom. It's a normal occurrence." His voice sounded a little gruffer than he had intended. "I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to snap. It's just been a long weekend."

"Sweetheart, does Mary know how you feel?"

Marshall froze, the beer halfway to his lips. "What do you mean?"

"Marshall, I'm your mother, and I can read you like a book. You don't think I know that you are in love with your partner? For heaven's sake, boy, you've loved her for years. I figured you were not able to do anything because of the nature of your job, but if it's making you this unhappy, you need to get things out in the open and tell her."

Marshall listened to his mother talk and felt the tears well up in his eyes again. Mary would laugh at him and call him a girl (for the hundredth time), because he couldn't stop crying. It was all her fault, anyway. What was wrong with him? Why was he sitting here feeling sorry for himself? She certainly wasn't. She was off in Mexico, living it up. He shook his head, as if to clear the cobwebs out of his brain. He needed to man up and make a decision. He had told her how he felt, and now the ball was in her court, so to speak. So, why was he still wallowing? He needed to have a plan. He was always the man with the plan. What was different this time? Mary. She just plain messed with his head.

"Are you still there?" His mom's worried voice brought him out of his train of thought.

"Sorry, mom. I was just thinking about what you said. I actually did sort of tell her before she left, but I think it might have made it worse. She gets scared really easy. Our partnership is the longest relationship she has had with a man. I'm afraid I might have pushed her too far this time." He finished, sighing. "But, I need to do what's right for me. I always thought just being her partner was enough, but I'm not so sure anymore."

"Marshall, please be absolutely sure before you make any decisions. Don't do anything rash, that you may regret later. Just wait until she comes back and talk to her. Then you can make your decision."

He sighed again, knowing she was right. But, it wouldn't hurt to start looking at other offices that might need another Marshal. He would do some research tomorrow. For now, he needed to get himself together. "I know, mom. I promise not to make any major decisions without talking to her first. I couldn't anyway." He said, a sad tone to his voice. "Thanks, mom. For listening and understanding. I love you."

"Oh my sweet, sensitive boy. I love you too. Please call me if you need to talk, ok?" She said, glad he let her in.

"I will, mom. Talk to you later."

"Bye, sweetheart."

He closed his phone and stared at it for a moment. Had his mom just given him relationship advise? He was always closer to her than his father and brothers, and right now, he was so grateful she was so observant. He smiled, for the first time since Friday, and got up to take a much needed shower.

The shower allowed him to clear his mind of the alcohol induced haze he had subjected himself to over the last two days. After shaving and dressing, he proceeded to clean up his collection of empty beer bottles that had taken over his living room. He shook his head, as if to clear his mind. He took out the trash, grabbing his car keys on the way out. The Chinese place on the way to the office was his first stop. The smell of real food made him realize how long it had been since he had ingested something other than alcohol. He took it to go, and headed into the office.

After eating enough food for two people, he felt more like himself, and moved to his computer. He began searching for WITSEC openings on their job board. They didn't always post positions, but if the office was in need, they would post it with a star, which meant they needed the position filled as soon as possible. That's what he was looking for. Because if Mary's decision didn't include him, then he would have to leave quickly or he would stay and continue to be a slave to her, emotionally and physically. He made the choice to push her, so he needs to be prepared to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.


	9. Going soft?

A/N Oh look, two updates in one day! I am so excited, because I am almost finished with this story. There will be about 3 more chapters before our favorite couple figure everything out. I hope it's not too OOC. I try to stay as close as I can. Enjoy, and please let me know how you are liking it!

Chapter 9

Going Soft?

Mary showered for much longer than necessary, making sure to get every stray piece of sand off her body. She had a surprising great day. Usually the beach was not her thing, but today the quiet allowed her to ponder her life, which she usually avoided like the plague. After looking back at her life, she realized that she was the only one not moving forward. Brandy had Peter, and her mom, now sober (for the moment), was enjoying being a danced teacher. And here she was, doing the same thing, day in and day out, making the same stupid mistakes, doing the same 'cowboys,' but not really allowing herself to be happy. And, knowing how Marshall felt about her, she was keeping him in limbo, as well. She needed to get her head out of her ass and give happy a try.

After the shower, she slipped on the white, fuzzy robe the hotel provides for its guests and began to pack. She had only been her 48 hours, and hadn't really unpacked much, so it went fairly quickly. She made the decision to wait until morning to head to the airport. She'd have a better chance to catch a flight home then. She'd even flash her badge if she had to, just to make sure she could get home as quickly as possible. She needed to see Marshall. She wanted to tell him that she had been thinking, about him, and them, and maybe a future. These thoughts were so foreign to Mary, but thinking about forever with Marshall didn't seem odd. It actually felt natural. She couldn't imagine not having him in her life, and with the nature of their jobs, they couldn't really share their work with anyone else. And, if she was being honest, she didn't want to share her life with anyone else, except Marshall.

_Oh my God. I'm in love with him. When did that happen?_ She thought back over the course of their seven years together. Marshall had wormed his way into her life, without her even realizing it. They had been in sync since the beginning. That was one of the reasons she transferred. He was easy to work with, though a little annoying at times when he would spout off unnecessary facts about everything. But, she eventually found that to be endearing, although she would never tell him that. She was actually grateful for his rants on occasion. The sound of his voice would soothe her when she was terribly stressed, whether it be a witness or her family. And, it even helped her save his life, after he had gotten shot. She shuddered, thinking back to that horrible day in the desert that she almost lost him. That's it. That's when it happened. She held it together, ever the strong Marshal. But once they were at the hospital and she broke down in here mom's arms, that was when she realized she really would not be able to live without him.

She knew he was the most important person in her life, but she never allowed herself to see them as anything more. She knew Marshall did. She knew he had feelings for her, but she tried to say it was just 'best friend' feelings. It was easier that way. But what about now? This year had been rough, for both of them. She was so glad to have her house back, but she actually felt lonely sometimes now. Her house seemed too quiet. She was glad all the family drama was gone, but she really enjoyed the nights her partner would come over with pizza and a movie and they'd veg on the couch all night. Those were the nights she had begun to look forward to more often. And when he left, a feeling of utter loneliness would wash over her. She never allowed herself to put a name to it, but now, she finally realized she wasn't just lonely for companionship; she was lonely for someone, for him.

That's what he was trying to tell her before she left. "Maybe instead of looking for anyone, you should be looking for someone." _Oh Marshall_, she thought. _I'm sorry I've been so blind. I'm such an idiot. I just hope I'm not too late. _

She pulled out her phone, and contemplated calling him, but changed her mind. She didn't want to have any of this conversation on the phone. He deserved better than that. She would fly home tomorrow, and head straight to his house and surprise him. She smiled, already getting excited about seeing him again.

She decided to head back to the bar across the street to pass the time. She threw on some jeans and a black tank top and headed to Yesterday's. Chris, the bartender, was behind the bar, and smiled when he saw her return. "Hey," he said loudly, so she could hear him over the music. "Come back to break someone else's wrist?" His eyes danced, and she knew she liked him.

She smiled back and put her hands up in surrender. "I promise not to break any bones tonight." Then, she leaned over and said, "Unless they deserve it."

Chris laughed, and handed her a beer. "I'm guessing none of the hard stuff tonight, right?"

She faked a look of horror, and replied, "Are you saying I can't handle my liquor?"

He laughed and said, "Quite the opposite. Not many people can break someone's wrist so cleanly after having ingested as many shots as you did last night." He wiped the counter off with a rag and continued. "You actually look more relaxed tonight."

She looked at him, puzzled. "Ok, are you a closet psychologist now?"

"Didn't you know that all bartenders have to train in psychology?" He said, joking. "Listening to peoples problems and giving advise is almost as important as pouring the alcohol."

She laughed out loud, and realized that was the first time she had actually laughed in a long time. It felt good. She picked up her beer and took a drink before replying, "So, I look more relaxed, huh?"

He studied her for a moment. "Yep, I'm guessing you spent the day at the beach, letting the sun burn off some of that pent up frustration you had last night." He paused for effect, "And, I would bet you made a decision about something," he paused, "no, someone."

He saw the smile fade from her face, and he fought the urge to laugh. "Ok, now you are just freaking me out." She said.

He allowed his laughter to surface, and he answered her unasked question. "I've been a bartender for 20 years now. Yesterday, you were a pent up ball of frustration. I could see it in the way you walked, talked, and the lines on your face. You needed the alcohol to ease some of the tension." She nodded at him to continue. "Today, you are not as stressed, clearly, and the fact that your are quite tan, tells me that you were at the beach today." He smiled, pleased with himself.

"Impressive. Now, how did you know I made a decision?" She asked.

"Oh, that's easy. You are here in Mexico by yourself, drinking, which means you were running away from a man. Last night, when you were dancing, you thought for a moment it was him, the one you're running from, but when you realized it wasn't, your tension returned. And, of course, your breaking the other guy's wrist when he touched you might have helped my reasoning."

"Damn, you are good. You should charge by the hour." She said, finishing her beer.

"Another one?" He asked.

"You tell me, oh wise one."

"I'd say just one more, because you are leaving tomorrow and don't want to feel bad in the morning." He replied, while replacing her empty bottle with a full one.

"Jesus, you really do scare me." She said, partly serious. He was reading her like a book. The only other person that could do that was Marshall. She smiled, thinking about seeing him tomorrow. She didn't get excited about much, but she found herself humming in anticipation of seeing him. It had only been 2 days and she already missed him.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts," Chris said. "Let me know if you need anything else." He yelled as he walked to the other end of the bar to chat up some other customers.

Mary allowed her mind to wander to Marshall. What was he doing right now? Did he miss her as much has she missed him? Oh, God, she was turning into a girl, she groaned.


	10. Stirring the Pot

A/N Faber's back...sorry. We are almost at the end of the road. The next two chapters will wrap this story up. I really hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thanks!

Chapter 10

Stirring the Pot

Faber was pissed. The little bitch had broken his wrist. She had invited him to Mexico, and then reneged. He had every right to peruse her. What a tease. He had gone straight home, and to the hospital to get his wrist casted. He was not about to have it done in Mexico. They had given him some good pain pills, and he was at home, half passed out on the couch when his phone rang. "Hello," he slurred.

"Faber, man, how's the wrist?" His buddy from the bureau asked. Faber had called him and filled him in on his excursion to Mexico.

"Fuckin hurts, but the pain pills are good. What's up?"

"Well, I thought you might like to know that a certain blonde Marshal, with a violent streak, may be without a partner soon."

It took his drug induced brain a moment to comprehend what his buddy was saying. Once it caught up, he sat straight up from his perch on the couch. "What?" He said, his voice squeaking.

"It seems that a certain Marshal Marshall has been scouring the job boards all evening.

I have some helpful connections, and since your lady friend decided to go rogue on you, I've been researching her and her partner. It seems he is taking an interest in transferring out of his current situation."

"Interesting..." Faber replied. He could tell Mary had been more on edge than normal. He glanced at his wrist, which held the proof. Was there trouble in paradise? Was poor little puppy sick of pining for his partner? Faber grinned. If there wasn't a problem with the partners, there would be when he was finished.

"Mike, you still there?" His buddy's voice brought him out of his scheming, and back to the current conversation.

"So, is there anything else I should know? Has he contacted anyone yet?"

"No, like I said, this was 'unofficial' knowledge that he made some inquiries about some possible openings in the Marshal Service. Sorry I couldn't give you something more concrete."

"No worries, man. This info will help me more than you know! Thanks" Faber's thoughts returned to his simple, but effective plan as he disconnected the call.

He grabbed his phone and found Mary's number. He typed up a quick message, designed to cause Mt. Saint Mary to explode! Then, he settled back down on his sofa, pleased with himself. Payback is hell, isn't it Mary?

Mary awoke early the next morning, excited to be going home. She wanted to wear the blue sundress that Brandi had snuck in her suitcase, but figured she would just distract Marshall from what she needed to tell him. The last time she wore something that showed off her chest, Marshall couldn't even look at her. She smiled, remembering the warm feeling that crept over her when she realized why he couldn't look her in the eye. Just the thought of seeing Marshall again sent shivers down her spine. She had the entire flight to figure out what to say, thank goodness, because right now, she was flying blind. But, it felt good!

She was able to get on an early afternoon flight, so she had some time to kill. While she waited in the hard, plastic chairs outside the gate, she decided to check her messages. She'd only been gone a couple of days, so there shouldn't be any, but part of her was hoping Marshall had texted her again.

She opened her phone and went into text messages. She saw one from Faber. _Good God, didn't the broken wrist give that asshole a clue?_ She almost deleted it without reading it, but the curiosity got the best of her, and she opened the message.

"Trouble in paradise, Kitten? Word is your precious partner is looking for a new gig. Do you have that effect on all men, or is it just the ones you work with?"

Mary read the message twice; trying to make sure she read it correctly. Was Marshall really looking for a new job? What the fuck? She could feel the familiar anger start boiling up. He almost left once before, so why should she think anything had changed? Damn him…she had changed. He made her change. He cornered her in the elevator, got into her head, made her think, and now he planned to leave?

She closed her eyes, and put herself back in the elevator. All she had been thinking about these past few days was Marshall, and how stupid she had been. How she had been so blind. She heard his voice in her head, "You need to open your eyes and see what's right in front of you, before you screw things up so bad, there will be no going back." Is that what he meant by no going back? He was giving me an ultimatum? How dare he? One of the biggest problems in her relationship with Raph was that she knew he would make her chose one day between her job and him. And there was no choice. But was Marshall really telling her that if she didn't choose him, he would leave her? What a fucking hypocrite!

"Final call for flight 1578 to Albuquerque. All passengers please proceed to Gate 5 for boarding." The announcement brought her back to reality. She handed her ticket to the agent and boarded the plane, wondering what in the hell she was supposed to do now.

With every minute that passed, her anger grew. How dare he challenge her to feel and to think about the future? Their future. Maybe it would be best to just ignore what happened and let things go back to the way they were. But they wouldn't, would they? He plans to leave. He promised he would stay. What would I do without Marshall? A world without Marshall was a scary one, indeed. Nobody there to keep her grounded, to diffuse her anger, to talk rationally to the witnesses. More importantly, no late night pizza and movies at her house. No more leisurely lunches discussing their next transfer. No random facts about the places they visit. No car rides fighting over the radio station and stopping for a quick snack when she got hungry, which was all the time.

A lone tear escaped her eye without her knowledge, and slid silently down her face. She began to realize what an important role Marshall really played in her life. He was her partner, sure, and her best friend, and dammit, she was totally in love with him. Could she give them up when she just realized it?

By the time the flight arrived, she had come to a decision. She was not give up, and she wasn't going to now! He wanted her to think and dammit, she did. Now, he was going to hear what she had to say, whether he wanted to or not.


	11. WTF?

A/N Ok, so this is the next to last chapter. I want to apologize in advance for leaving you all hanging at the end, but I promise, the last chapter will make up for it. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! It's been fun...

Chapter 11

WTF?

Marshall had been up most of the night browsing the Marshal Service boards. He thought being prepared was what be needed, but the more job postings he looked at, the more he felt like he was betraying Mary. His mom was right, he couldn't make any decisions until she came back and they talked.

When the guilt and betrayal became too much, went to bed, and tossed and turned. He finally dozed off sometime after 2:00am. Then he saw Mary walking along the shore, her hair blowing in the ocean breeze. And he was there, walking toward her. The waves lapping at his ankles as he made his way toward her. She smiled as he approached, opening her arms and pulling him into a warm hug. He felt safe and loved, and when she pulled back, their gazes locked and she leaned into kiss him. His heart was beating so loud, it felt like it would come out of his chest. Thump, thump, thump, thump...

Thump, thump, thump...the sound became real, and Marshall realized he was in his bed, and someone was pounding on his door. He groaned and rolled put of bed, rubbing his eyes, to clear the sleep out of them. Still half asleep, he didn't bother with the peephole and just jerked the door open to make the annoying noise stop.

He froze when his eyes focused on the person in front of him. He let his eyes linger over her like a starving man. He hadn't seen her in 3 days and it felt like a year. His gaze locked with hers and he saw the fire there. He knew that look well, that fierce look she was giving him, but he still allowed himself a small smile. God, had he missed her.

It felt like she stood there forever banging on his door, waiting for him to answer. Anger seeping out of her pores. Finally, the door opened and there stood the man that had filled her every thought for the past 3 days. Even through her anger she registered his appearance. His disheveled hair, his sleep laden eyes, and she thought, for a brief moment, that he had never looked more kissable.

She stood still and allowed him to look her over, feeling warmth spread through her. The anger faded a little, as she waited him out. Their eyes locked and she saw the small hint of a smile he had, and the anger returned full force. She put both hands on his chest and shoved him backward, into his house. "What the fuck, Marshall?"

Marshall was taken off guard by her sudden attack, and stumbled backward into the wall behind him. She took two steps inside, and slammed the door before stalking into the living room. He just stood there, momentarily in shock. Not only was she here, when she was supposed to be in Mexico, but she just shoved him and was severely pissed about something.

She turned around when she realized he was not following her, nor was he even speaking. "Hey, Numbnuts, get in here. You have some 'splaining to do."

He pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked into the living room, toward her. She stood before him with her hands on her hips, and shooting fire at him from here eyes. He stopped a safe distance away from her, and crossed his arms, questioning her with his eyes.

His silence just made her even angrier. They stared each other down for what felt like an eternity, before she finally exploded. "God Dammit, Marshall. Who the hell do you think you are?" He continued to stare at her, patient. He knew she would get to it eventually. With Mary, you just have to wait her anger out, so he walked over and took a seat on the couch. He didn't have to wait long.

"You pull that stunt in the elevator, and make me spend the last 3 days acting like a, a, a fucking girl, contemplating my feelings and shit. And, just when I start to figure things out, and realize how important you really are to me, you..." she paused for a brief moment making sure her voice didn't show the vulnerability she was feeling, and then continued, "you fuckin' leave. Just like everyone else."

She started to pace, needing an outlet for her anger. "Was this your plan all along? Screw with me, then leave?" She quickly turned to face him, her face taking on a deeper shade of red as she came to a realization. She looked at him, avoiding his eyes, because she didn't want to see the confusion in them. She was livid, and wanted to lash out at him. She wanted to believe he could do that, so it would be easier for her when he did leave. Her heart might survive, if she protected it from him. _It's too late for that,_ her inner voice leered.

Choosing to ignore her inner voice, she continued her rant, that's it, isn't it? I can't believe it. You want me to see what it feels like, don't you?" She was almost screaming now.

Marshall made a move to stand up, and said, "Mary, what..." Before he could finish, she had roughly placed a hand on his shoulder, preventing him from rising.

"No," she ground out. "You had your say, now it's my turn, so shut it."

He sat back and studied her. What made her think he was leaving? He had promised her before that he would never leave. _But you were planning to, weren't you? If things didn't go the way you wanted them to_, his mind mocked him. _You were all set to leave, and never look back._ She must have found out he was looking. But how? Mary had started talking again; well, not so much talking as yelling, but he pushed his thoughts back for the moment to focus on what she was saying.

"You have some nerve, asshole. You butt into my life when you weren't invited, then screw with my feelings, all because you didn't want me to fuck Faber? Dammit, Marshall, I've done more 'thinking' in the last few days than I have in my whole life. And it's your fault. I have feelings, you know. And I had them all straight until I found out that you were planning to leave me. Jesus, Marshall, couldn't you have just talked to me like a normal person?"

"I tried," he growled, getting angry with the mention of Faber.

"Oh, yes, your cryptic message that I should be looking for 'someone.' What if I thought Faber was that someone?" She regretted the words as they came out of her mouth.


	12. The Last Cowboy

A/N Ok, folks. Here it is. The final chapter. I hope you all enjoy it, and please let me know if you like it. I considered doing an M chapter, separate, of course. Let me know if anyone is interested. Here is a reminder of where we left off in the last chapter. Mary and Marshall were in the middle of a deep conversation.

"You have some nerve, asshole. You butt into my life when you weren't invited, then screw with my feelings, all because you didn't want me to fuck Faber? Dammit, Marshall, I've done more 'thinking in the last few days than I have in my whole life. And it's your fault. I have feelings, you know. And I had them all straight until I found out that you were planning to leave me. Jesus, Marshall, couldn't you have just talked to me like a normal person?"

"I tried," he growled, getting angry with the mention of Faber.

"Oh, yes, your cryptic message that I should be looking for 'someone.' What if I thought Faber was that someone?" She regretted the words as they came out of her mouth.

Chapter 12

The Last Cowboy

Marshall jumped up from the couch, like he'd been burned. She could see the fire in his eyes and involuntarily flinched. He didn't notice, as he walked toward her like a man on a mission. She backed up, and stopped when her back hit the wall. She wasn't afraid of him, but she had never seen him this angry, either. He stood in front of her, pinning her to the wall without actually making any contact.

"You've had your say," he ground out, his voice so low she had to strain to hear him. "Now you listen to me."

She just stared a little wide-eyed, and he continued. "I know you, Mare. Better than anyone. I can't just 'talk' to you. There are specific ways to get you to talk, and if it has anything to do with feelings or relationships, you completely shut down." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I have stood by your side for 6 years. I've helped you through family drama, and watched as you made mistake after mistake with your personal 'relationships.' I have been your friend, even when you tried to push me away. But,"

He was quiet for a moment, as if trying to figure out what to say next. The silence was deafening, so Mary prompted, "But what?"

His anger dissipated a little, and he sighed, almost defeated. "I don't know if I can do it anymore, Mare. I'm tired."

"So, the elevator was an ultimatum?" She leaned forward, and he stepped back, pacing the floor.

He ran his hand trough his hair, and turned back to face, but keeping a safe distance. "I don't know, maybe. I didn't plan any of this, but when you were so flippant about finding another cowboy," his voice hitched, and he cleared his throat before continuing. "I just couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. Then, you walked away, which I knew you would. I was willing to just let it go, and try to pick up the pieces of my heart that you stepped on, yet again. Then…" He started pacing again, and she could see the anger in him reemerge.

"Then…" she encouraged, in a whispered voice, not sure if she wanted him to continue.

"Then," he growled, "I heard you call Faber." He ran his fingers through his hair again, rougher this time. "And you used my words. The ones that came from my heart. I was trying to tell you how much…" He stopped, not wanting her to see the tears that were threatening to spill over. _Get_ _it together, Mann. Just tell her everything is fine, and you two can go back to normal. But things will never be normal again, will they?_ Great, now his mind was taunting him.

He was so lost in his own mind, he had almost forgotten about Mary still standing there, so he jumped when she spoke. "Oh, Marshall." She said, her voice a little shaky. "Calling Faber was a mistake. Your speech," she paused, not sure how to explain herself. "I was really listening, and what I felt scared the hell out of me. So I did what I do best…I ran." She moved then, slowing walking toward him. Afterwards, when you forced me to see certain things," she cleared her throat, not wanting it to crack as she continued. "I called Faber and cancelled."

He spun around and looked at her sharply. "Why?"

"Like I said, I was listening to you, but got spooked. When you literally cornered me in the elevator and made it…real, you made me feel things. Things that I have never felt and it was scary, but exciting. And it made me realize that I needed to decide what I really wanted. And I did. You."

"Mary, I'm not going to be just the next cowboy for you."

"Dammit, I did not come here for you to be the next cowboy, I want you to be the last cowboy."

Marshall froze, his mouth gaping. Momentarily relieved by his silence, she took his hand and led him back to the couch. He sat, and she followed suit, sitting close , but not touching. She turned toward him, pulling her left knee under her on the couch. When he did not move to face her, she got up and planted herself in front of him on the coffee table, pulling his knees apart, so she could look at him. He seemed interested in a spot on the floor, refusing to lift his head and look her in the eye.

Without looking up, he said quietly, "Mare, please don't mess with me. I'm sorry about the elevator, ok. Please, you should just leave, and forget this all ever happened. We can go back to normal." He paused.

Mary was stunned. She didn't understand what was happening. She just told him, subtly, what she wanted. Her anger returned briefly, until she saw a tear fall from his face onto the floor.

Before she could react, he finished, "Please, Mare, for me. I just can't do this anymore." His last sentence ended in a small sob.

The sound nearly shattered her, and she slid off the coffee table onto the floor, between his knees. _Oh my god, I did it,_ she thought. _I finally pushed him too far. I need to get him back. I need my Marshall. My Marshall, yes, that's what he is, mine. And I'm his_. With this realization, she became even more determined to show him she wasn't playing.

She reached over and put her hand under his chin, forcing him to look at her. What she saw brought tears to her eyes. His eyes were filled with tears and there was a defeated look in them, like he had given up.

She took a shaky breath, and began, "Marshall," she paused as her own eyes filled up with unshed tears. "Oh God, I'm so sorry."

He dropped his eyes, thinking she was trying to let him down easy. He just couldn't look at her when she told him there was no hope. He knew he would go back to being her partner. He knew no matter how bad she hurt him, he could never leave her. He was stupid to think he could. He could not live without her in his life in come capacity.

Her voice interrupted his thoughts. "I really did do a lot of thinking these past few days. About you, me, us, my screwed up life," she paused, waiting for him to look at her again. When he refused, she asked, "Marshall, look at me." He did, briefly, and then cast his eyes back down again. He didn't want her to see him so broken. She would know how badly she was hurting him if he looked at her, and he didn't want her to see, so he cast his eyes to the ground, again.

When he didn't comply, she sat up on her knees and placed her hands on his thighs, forcing herself in his view. He sucked in a breath at her touch and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Now that I have your attention, I want you to listen," she said softly, but with authority. This time, he did not look away. "As I said, you forced me to take a real good look at my life, and I realized," she took a shaky breath before continuing, "I realized that I didn't like what I was seeing. I have been a selfish, ungrateful, bitch."

She noticed the slight twitch in his cheek, and jabbed, "Now is not the time to gloat, doofus. Wait until I'm finished, then feel free to sing the song. You were...right." His eyebrows shot up in question, and she continued. "I've been hoping from guy to guy, hoping to fill some void. What I didn't realize was the answer was here all along. Staring at me, everyday. Putting up with my bull shit, and giving it back." She paused, not sure how to go on. "God Marshall, I suck at this.". She stopped, and he urged her to continue with his eyes.

She was getting scared. She could feel her fight or flight reflex start to kick in. She closed her eyes momentarily to calm herself and to push her usual response away. She opened her eyes to his questioning gaze. She could still see the tear tracts on his face, and that gave her the strength she needed.

"It's you, Marshall. You have been here all along, fighting by my side, catching me when I fell, being my best friend, and I realized that I..." she took a deep, cleansing breath, and finished, "I love you."

Hearing those words come out of her mouth sent a rush of warmth through his body, but he was still skeptical. "Mare, please don't say something you don't mean, just because you are afraid to lose me."

"Do really think I would do that?" the look in his eyes told her all she needed to know. "Oh god, I really hurt you. Why do I continue to push people away? Especially those that mean the most to me? Have I ever lied to you?" He raised his eyebrow, and she continued, "When it really mattered?"

He sighed. She would not lie to him about something important. Hope filled him, and she saw the change instantly. "Marshall, I'm so sorry it took me so long to see what was right in front of me," she finished, echoing his words from the elevator. She lifted her hand and gently traced above his eyebrow, where he was visibly holding his tension. He flinched, surprised by her sudden touch. As she continued to trace around his eyes and down to his cheek, he found himself leaning into her touch. He closed his eyes and prayed if this was a dream, that he'd never wake up.

He felt the hint of her breath on his face, then the slight brush of her lips above his right eye. He held his breath, and then felt the gentle brush of her lips on his left eye. She then moved to his left cheek, and onto his right. Her touch was so light, he thought he might be imagining it. Then he opened his eyes and let out the breath he had been holding. Her face was a mere centimeter away from his, her eyes filled with unshed tears. One look in her eyes told him everything. She slowly leaned in and touched her lips to his. She felt a jolt of electricity the moment their lips made contact. She stared into his eyes and knew he felt it too.

He leaned in, needing more pressure, and slid his hand in her hair to pull her closer to him. Their lips began moving in unison, like a perfectly choreographed dance. She pushed his legs farther apart, so she could get closer, and slid her hands around his waist, pulling his hips closer to the edge of the couch. He ran his tongue over in bottom lip and she opened it in invitation. Their tongues continued the dance, their hands trying to touch everywhere.

_Holy shit,_ she thought. _Who_ _knew my geeky partner could kiss like this? Why haven't we done this before? That's right, because I'm an idiot._ With that thought, she deepened the kiss, causing him to moan. After that point, she lost all rational thought, and decided just to feel.

He wasn't sure how long they kissed, but he knew he was in heaven. She tasted sweet and warm, and he knew he could die happy now, just having tasted her this one time. She deepened the kiss and he moaned. Was that me? He wondered? The sound brought him back to reality for a moment, and he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, both breathing heavy.

"Jesus Marshall, where did you learn to kiss like that?"

His smile stretched from ear to ear, and he responded, "Oh that, I'm just getting started."

Her eyes dilated and he chuckled as she leaned in again to capture his lips. He pulled back, and she whined. With that sound, he felt himself get hard instantly.

"Mare, believe me, I want to continue this as much as you do, but I have to tell you something before this goes any further." he slid his hands down to rest on her shoulders, showing her he was serious. She released her grip on his waist and allowed her hands to resume their previous spot on his thighs. He sucked in a breath, as her hands came very close to a certain body part that was almost ready to explode.

"I just need you to know, before this goes any further, that I am in this for good. God, I love you so much," he paused, his voice cracking. "I have been in love with you for so long, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life being with you. I want to wake up every morning, knowing you will be there. I need to know that you want the same thing. I need to know this is real. Because, if we do this, there will be no turning back."

She listened as he bared his soul to her, and her eyes teared up. Sure, her first thought was to hightail it through the door and not look back, but that thought was quickly replaced by another, confusing feeling. Contentment. She was trying to imagine what he said. Waking up with him by her side, going to bed with him, feeling safe all the time. He has always made her feel safe and content.

He was starting to worry, because she was so quiet. He saw that she was processing what he said, but he couldn't read her face.

As he started to tense up, he saw her lips start to turn up in a smile. "Marshall, I meant what I said, I want YOU to be my cowboy. Only you...forever. I really do love you, Marshall. So much that it scares me. But I know that as long as we are together, everything will be alright. I already trust you with my life, and now, I'm ready to trust you with my heart."

"Oh Mare, I love you so much." he said as he leaned in again to capture her lips.


End file.
